“The intimate edge ideally becomes the point of maximum and acknowledged contact at any given moment in a relationship without fusion, without violation of the separateness and integrity of each participant. Attempting to relate at this point requires ceaseless sensitivity to inner changes in oneself and in the other, as well as the interface of the interaction as these occur in the context of the spiral of reciprocal impact (…).
The “intimate edge” thus is never static but becomes the trace of a constantly moving locus (…) it is also a boundary of self-awareness. It is a point of expanding self-discovery, at which one becomes more “intimate” with one’s own experience through the evolving relationship with the other, and then more attuned to the other as one becomes more attuned to oneself. Because of this dialectical interplay, the “intimate edge” becomes the “growing edge” of the relationship (…).
Even when the “intimate edge” is missed and there is some kind of intrusion or of some failure to meet due to overcautiousness, the process of aiming for it, the mutual focus on the difficulties involved can facilitate its achievement (…). The “intimate edge” is, therefore, not a given, but an interactive creation. It is always unique to the moment and to the sensibilities of the specific participants in relation to each other and reflects the participants’ subjective sense of what is most crucial or compelling about their interaction at that moment” (Ehrenberg, 1992, p. 33-35).
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