"In
“The Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce defined love as “a temporary
insanity curable by marriage.” Enter Sue Johnson, a clinical
psychologist and couples therapist who says that relationships are a
basic human need and that “a stable, loving relationship is the absolute
cornerstone of human happiness and general well-being.” To repair
ailing partnerships, she has developed a new approach in marriage
counseling called Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, which she
introduces in her new book, “Love Sense.”
EFT
draws on the work of the psychiatrist John Bowlby, the father of
attachment theory, who argued that humanity has evolved a strong,
physiologically-based attachment system that drives the infant to attach
to the mother. In the 1960s and ’70s, he and the psychologist Mary
Ainsworth put forth the idea that children develop one of three basic
styles of attachment that they carry into their adult relationships.
Secure individuals grow up knowing they can count on their primary
caregivers, so they don’t obsessively worry that they will be abandoned
by their partners. However, if one’s primary childhood caregiver is
inattentive, unpredictable or abusive, the individual forms one of two
“insecure” attachment styles. Anxious individuals worry constantly that
they will be abandoned, so they cling to their partners, seeking
reassurance. The avoidant, meanwhile, eschew deep connections to protect
themselves from being dependent.
Johnson
believes EFT can help couples break out of patterns, “interrupting and
dismantling these destructive sequences and then actively constructing a
more emotionally open and receptive way of interacting.” She aims to
transform relationships “using the megawatt power of the wired-in
longing for contact and care that defines our species,” and offers
various exercises to restore trust......"
For more information on EFT for couples in terms of Hold Me Tight Workshop and EFT training in August in South Africa go to www.eftsouthafrica.co.za
For more information on EFT for couples in terms of Hold Me Tight Workshop and EFT training in August in South Africa go to www.eftsouthafrica.co.za
